My Night World

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Sometimes I can’t sleep at night. It’s nothing new. Back when I was working and raising my family, stress and worry about life’s everyday problems seemed to weigh on me like an anchor. When my daughter was a teenager, I rarely slept. After my mother was diagnosed with Parkinson’s and failing fast, I would lie awake most nights. Then it was my husband’s snoring that kept me awake. But eventually my daughter grew up, my mother moved to heaven, I retired from my job and my husband suddenly stopped snoring! I had no excuse not to sleep! That’s when I discovered I simply choose to be awake. I enjoy being up in the middle of the night when all others in my world are sound asleep.

I love my house at night. It appears to be spotless and tidy! During the day, little things like crumbs on the counter top and scuffs on the floor bother me to distraction. They seem to scream “clean me” until I do just that! But at night I see no crumbs on the counter, no scuffs on the floor. There is no dust, nothing is out of place and my windows are squeaky-clean! The mundane tasks of the day don’t even whisper my name in the middle of the night.

I swear some nights the moon shines through the window over my front door brighter than the sun ever does, even on the most dazzling summer day, and the shadows it creates are just different somehow! More magical! More alive! The grandfather clock in the dining room that simply “tick-tock’s” during the day is a virtual symphony in the middle of the night! The noises of the house are special.  They are my friends, in the night, when we are alone!

I like to write in my night world. Words just come alive in my mind, kind of like those shadows and sounds do. I can come up with words that don’t even exist in my vocabulary during the day or when I am face to face with another person. People tend to intimidate me, but words don’t! They don’t judge. They are not harsh. They are not condescending. They do not disenchant me unless I want them to.

When I can no longer keep my eyes open, I turn off the lamp beside my chair and quietly make my way to the bedroom. Well, except for that night I ran smack into a chair! “Oh, excuse me” I mumbled, a bit bewildered! Once I realized I had just apologized to a solid, inanimate object, I knew it was way past time for me to go to bed!

Exhaustion takes over once or twice a week and I go to bed at a reasonable hour. So tired I have managed to become that I don’t wake up during the night at all. In the morning after such a night I am briefly disappointed that I didn’t get to visit my night world. Then it hits me! Tonight!  Yes, tonight I won’t need sleep! Tonight I have something to look forward to!

Write a Positive Page

I have been writing life journals for Hospice patients for several years now and I continue to be amazed at some of the stories I am privileged to write: Like the woman whose mother rode the Orphan Train from the east coast to the Midwest where she was adopted by a farm family; or the man who served with three of his brothers on the same ship in the Pacific during WWII before the Navy separated them in increasing fear the ship might sink and all his mother’s sons would perish at once; and the sweet little lady who wore bedroom slippers under her wedding gown because there was a ration on shoes during the war. I recently finished a journal about a man 12 years younger than I am whose story had already ended. Writing about someone who has already passed is often emotionally difficult for me, but because this man’s family was full of nothing but positive things to say about his attitude, his faith and his love; it really wasn’t difficult at all. It served to remind me to smile, to be grateful and to write a positive page in my own life story!

First blog post

Well, here it is! My shot in the dark! A humble attempt to do that which I know nothing about. Blogging? What’s that? All I know is I like to write and apparently a blog is the “latest, greatest” way to share.

My writing is not profound. I do not search the depths of my soul in pursuit of something meaningful to say. Rather, I write what I think my grandchildren can someday identify with. Something they will understand. Something they might read and say, “Yep, that sounds like Grammy” or better yet “I love how Grammy writes”!

I am capable, I’m sure, of writing deep philosophical ideas or assertively stating my firm belief about one thing or another; but to what end? To have someone mock my opinion or implication? No, I prefer to keep it light and non-confrontational. Easy-peasy! Here, the content will be MY words, MY way – simple!

I’m excited! Let’s do this!